Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
