He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
vagina is talking i cant
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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