One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
