Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
