That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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