How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
