fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
