the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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