is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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