My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize