Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
