Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
