Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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