Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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