i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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