help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
