no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
