he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
