I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
