Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
