Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
