i was rollin on her like bob the builder
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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