only if we run a train.
done.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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