You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
