i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
