remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
honey bunches of taint.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
