do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize