he shaved USA in his pubs
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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