its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
