with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
are you so shy because you have an std?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
