My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
