OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
