you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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