I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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