i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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