Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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