Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i think my tv is drunk
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
