Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
