We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
