He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Randomize
