Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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