now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
