I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
soo... how was my night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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