youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize