also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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