never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
