they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
