I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize