I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
honey bunches of taint.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
