community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
