Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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