Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dicks are not precious.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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