too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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