God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
