According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
