I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
