check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
