is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
