but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
