It's Friday. Sex?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
